A Way Home

A New Commentary on Psalm 131.

I found my “happy place” when I was a child. It was a rainy day in Houston, Texas. My friends and I were playing hide and seek in my family’s home. At the entrance of our second bathroom was a built-in clothes hamper. Beneath a storage cabinet of shampoo, soaps, and bubble bath was a tilt-out shelf ready to receive used sheets and towels. Under that was a pantry door which was only opened on laundry day. But as my friend who was “it” began counting backward from twenty, I opened that door, pulled out some of the sheets, climbed inside, pulled the laundry over me, and closed it again. Darkness surrounded me. I could hear my friend’s continued countdown. “Three, two, one. Ready or not, here I come!” I waited in anticipation. But I was surprised by another, deeply satisfying emotion, that washed over me. Suddenly, that dark, small, enclosed space felt like home.

Ensconced in sheets and towels, I discovered a profound sense of safety and security. A feeling of contentedness brought peace and patience to my soul. I felt like I could be happy there forever.

But that was not to be.

Inevitably, the game of hide and seek broke into my contentedness. The tilt-out shelf opened with a jerk, light rushed into my eyes and an overly large face stared in and yelled, “Found you!” I had to roll out of the hamper, disentangle myself from the laundry, shove the laundry back in, and close the door.

Now I had to cope with the wider world. It was far too bright and much too wide to provide a sense of security. There was a hole in my heart that longed to find another place like that laundry hamper - a shelter available whenever I needed it.

I left many things behind as I grew into adulthood. But not that longing for a place of contentment. It always sounded like a dream that was too good to be true. But one day I read Psalm 131. I realized that I had just discovered the place I had been longing for.

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A song of ascents. Of David.

1 My heart is not proud, Lord,

my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have calmed and quietened myself,

I am like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child I am content.

3 Israel, put your hope in the Lord

both now and for evermore.

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Psalm 131 offered a way home. My journey required three steps:

1. Be honest about my place in the universe. “My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty…”

2. Confess my fascination with headlines stimulating my self-righteous anger over issues I can’t directly affect. “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.”

3. Focus my love and concern on the people and situations before me each moment of each day. “But I have calmed and quietened myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content. Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and for evermore.”

It took practice to take these three steps. I had to struggle with a heart that wanted to be more than I was, which found a strange satisfaction in being angry and cynical about national and global news, which did not want to deal with the every day relationships and responsibilities in front of me. But as Psalm 131 became a habit, I found I could use it anywhere;

• Twenty minutes on the balcony at home.

• Ten minutes at my desk.

• Five minutes before falling asleep.

With repetition, the Psalm helped me find a place of safety no matter where I was or what was happening in my life.

It showed me the way home.

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