Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.
-Proverbs 19:21
I was of two minds as I took the sharp turn. One voice was full of caution. The other was filled with joy. What worried me was that the first voice was becoming steadily louder, threatening to drown out the second. Most of us call this aging.
The other relatives over 30 years of age had quit mountain biking years before. At 59 I was the last holdout from what seemed inevitable. My two sons and two nephews were in front of me on the “downtown” trail. I was peddling at a comfortable but slightly challenging pace far behind. I was more conscious of injury than they were. I knew that it would take me far longer to recover, if I fell off my bike, than it would take them. I fought my growing hesitation and fear because I wanted to grow into an adventurous codger, not quite at the level of a mentor of mine in his 70s who wanted to die by venturing forth one day into the frozen tundra, never to be seen again. But I had adjusted my goals according to my stage of life, wanting to keep that glimmer in my eye that says to my children and grandchildren that life has not dulled me and that I am ready to join them in fun and adventure. I acknowledge I’m aging. My days of such physical adventures are limited. But that is why now is the time to keep biking on Mammoth Mountain.
Perhaps surprising only to me, I am also aging in other areas of life. I have less time to meet long-term goals. I am less energetic. I take longer to recover after a hard week’s work. Experience has well taught me that my plans and God’s results are rarely the same. Yet, unlike mountain biking, I continue to expect the same results as I had when I was younger. In fact, I have a nagging feeling of being a less effective man. I am down on myself because I can’t do what I used to do. I could quit and ride out the rest of my life, but I feel strongly that I’m not done yet. However, I do need to adjust my approach to life as I have adjusted my approach to my Mammoth adventure with my sons and nephews. I need a new metric for this time of life.
I am still a work in progress. I am working out the details of what this looks like in my everyday life. But the core answer is actually quite simple. My relationship with God, which is all at the end of the day that really matters, has taught me what success is. In moments of greatest clarity I see that success is to do what is in front of me each day to the best of my ability, trusting that God is in the inevitable ups and downs, with the knowledge that completing what is in front of me is the best preparation for what is coming next. That has been true in every stage of life.
I will keep peddling.