“Paul and his companions travelled throughout the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia. When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to. So they passed by Mysia and went down to Troas. During the night Paul had a vision of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, ‘Come over to Macedonia and help us.’ After Paul had seen the vision, we got ready at once to leave for Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.” -Acts 16:6-10
He assumed that the way of wisdom would lead him to a way of life with a clear and constant sense of what God was doing. He searched the Bible for stories of the relationship he wanted to have. Adam and Eve in the garden. Moses on Mount Sinai with the Ten Commandments. The direct relationship of the disciples with Jesus. He expected one day to have this kind of relationship with God as well. After decades on the journey with Jesus, he had a few stories of this kind; for example when he had prayed about proposing to his wife. But most of his attempts to follow God were “best guesses.”
It didn’t take long for him to find that, at least among the Christians he knew, the most important decision was joining the “right” Christian group. Of course, each friend had a different opinion about which group that was. They did share one thing in common, the right group was the one to which they were committed.
He participated in many churches over the years. He worked with many Christian organizations inside and outside of the United States. He began each commitment believing he had finally found the “right” group. But over time the strengths and weaknesses of each surfaced. It seemed to him that the right group changed, depending on context and timing.
He was disappointed. But as he reflected on his journey with Jesus thus far he saw that it was like his other relationships. Though it had been clear that his wife was a gift from God, his relationship with her had developed, not by a clear and consistent path, but by getting things right and wrong day by day.
Why should our journey with Jesus be different in this regard?
This is so helpful to me, as I tend to beat myself up when I make a mistake and feel like I have let God down. Thank you for this offering of wisdom and encouragement, Randy.