Maria's Dream
A Subscriber's Preview of Randy's Second Book
I would love your help! My book is extensively outlined. As I continue to develop my characters and dialogue, I am writing drafts of different sections of the book. It would be incredibly helpful if you, my subscribers, could read these drafts and offer editorial advice in the comment section below. Specifically, I would love to know:
what catches your attention
what confuses you
what needs to be clarified
any grammatical issues or word choice issues
and, of course, anything else that you think of.
Your challenge is that these posts are scenes rather than chapters. Also, they won’t be in book order. But you guys are sharp! So, here is the first post. Enjoy!
Her dream ended with a start. Maria sat up in bed, inhaling deeply of the cool morning air as her mystical journey faded. A gust of wind was the culprit. It had started at the far end of Main Street, swirling and blowing the chaff away as it journeyed toward her home. The sound had woken Maria, and as she opened her eyes she proclaimed, with words well beyond her age: “¡Admirable es el Señor en la redondez de la tierra, en crearla, en la providencia y orden que con ella tiene!”1
Her unexpected cry of adoration called Catalina de Arana to attention. Sitting up in the bed she shared with Maria’s father, Fancisco Coronel, Maria’s mother was staring in the direction of Mount Moncayo. She was ready to protect her child. Not one of the brown bears that protected their cubs on the ranges beyond that mountain could compete with Catalina’s fierce vigilance for her teenage daughter. Anxiously, persistently, she listened for her, but she only heard the northwind leaving Main Street and blowing through the archway of their home.
As if in response to Maria’s exalted words, the sustained gust began to whirl and spin like a dancing dervish across the sand-colored stonework of the courtyard. Then, without formal invitation, it presented itself at the bedroom where Maria was cloistered.
When it entered the room, the draft transformed itself into an impish child, drawing circles in the dust it unsettled, while hopping, skipping, and jumping across the room. When Catalina heard the mischief, she ran into the room. When she knelt beside Maria’s bed, the wind took its curtain call: a final gust, a departing whistle, and a self-adulatory rattle of shutters in its unhindered escape from the home. Catalina ran her fingers through Maria’s dark hair and asked, “¿Estás bien, mi amor?”
Before Maria could reply, the rising sun joined a rooster drawing its breath, and together they chased the darkness away. In the light of day, Catalina’s fear for her daughter transformed to surprise. For she saw, in Maria’s face, an expression of deep gratitude and joy.
Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts below.
“The Lord is worthy of praise around the world - in creating the earth, and in the providence and order He maintains over it!”