Tear Down the Walls

A New Commentary on 1 Peter 4:8

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” -1 Peter 4:8

I was stalling in the guest bathroom. Cheryl was in the kitchen. We were separated by more than the two walls between us. My own wall was up. A small voice urged me to do something that my defenses would not yet allow me to do.

Cheryl and I had argued. I am sure this surprises those of you who know us but it has been known to happen. Our personalities differ (we share only one letter in the old Meyers-Briggs test) but are usually complementary. Today, however, during our morning walk, we clashed. We had been working with Cheryl’s mother on plans to celebrate her father’s passing and already had a rough outline. In the days previous, I’d had a number of new ideas about what might work for the service. As we walked, I was “waxing eloquent” about these creative and ingenious ideas that followed no particular order. As I shared, Cheryl, who is much more linear than I am, (and thus a wonderful editor for my Substack posts including this one) was trying her best to follow my train of thought. But we were talking about her father, who had recently passed away. It was time for me to be in full “care and empathy" mode but I hadn’t gotten the memo. So I continued to generate a variety of new ideas about how we could celebrate her father while Cheryl tried to keep her grief in check. She took as much as she could. Then an argument ensued.

We went in circles. We continued to walk forward, while our argument went around and around. Our quarrels are like a dance. Many steps are the same regardless of the what, when, and where. We act and react, justifying our hurt and anger without going in any particular direction.

Our dance continued in the car. It came to a fever pitch on the way home. As the garage door opened our defensive walls closed shut. Our dance stopped. Cheryl got out and I parked the car. There was no winner.

I went into the guest bathroom to hide. A strange voice whispered to me saying, “Hug her.” I didn’t want to hug her. I pulled out my phone and looked at various apps, trying to push the thought from my mind. None of the apps had the desired effect. I still felt the voice urging me to do what I didn’t want to. After all, our argument wasn’t over.

I gave in. In obedience, I opened the door and looked at Cheryl. I began walking to her with open arms. Immediately, gladly, “needfully,” she received my embrace. The voice that had pushed me out of hiding now began to teach. A passage from the Bible popped into my head.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

As Cheryl cried on my shoulder in deep, heaving sobs, I understood, more clearly than ever before, what the passage meant. It didn’t matter which side of our argument would prevail. Our hug wasn’t about who was right or who was wrong. Our embrace said in no uncertain terms that we were committed to this relationship. It affirmed that what was most important was our love for one another.

We continued to hold one another recognizing that our love covers a multitude of sins and resting in a love that will always tear down the walls.

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