Who Do You Want To Be?
It’s time for the next, equally important step. Choosing the character qualities we want to embody is only the first step. We must adapt our lives to become the people we want to be. This isn’t easy. Benjamin Franklin described it this way:1
“As I knew, or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see why I might not always do the one and avoid the other. But I soon found I had undertaken a task of more difficulty than I had imagined. While my care was employed in guarding against one fault, I was often surprised by another; habit took the advantage of inattention; inclination was sometimes too strong for reason. I concluded, at length, that the mere speculative conviction that it was our interest to be completely virtuous, was not sufficient to prevent our slipping; and that the contrary habits must be broken, and good ones acquired and established before we can have any dependence on a steady, uniform rectitude of conduct.”
Look, below, at the qualities you chose in the previous post. I have added a link to each that will help you think more about the actions you will take to build the character you desire:
Temperance. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
Silence. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
Words are often not needed as in this conclusion to The Shawshank Redemption:
Order. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
Resolution. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
Frugality. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
Industry. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
Sincerity. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
Simon Sinke on living a generous and sincere life.
Justice. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
From A Few Good Men
Moderation. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Cleanliness. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.
From the movie Limitless:
Tranquility. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
Chastity. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
Journal Note:
What habits do you need to break to become more like the person you want to be?
What new habits can you build into your life to break those self-defeating habits and become more of the person you want to be?
Franklin did not try to work on them all at once. Instead, he worked on one and only one each week "leaving all others to their ordinary chance". While he did not adhere completely to the enumerated virtues, and by his own admission he fell short of them many times, he believed the attempt made him a better man, contributing greatly to his success and happiness, which is why in his autobiography, he devoted more pages to this plan than to any other single point and wrote, "I hope, therefore, that some of my descendants may follow the example and reap the benefit."2